Which fruit are you? Which era David Bowie? Which video game? It seems like everyone these days would like to know what they would be in some alternate reality. This test won't tell you which Character in The Hobbit you're most like, or which American Idol reject you should marry, but it will tell you which inanimate object in my house you would get along best with. Have a happy journey of self-discovery!



1. Kill one: 
Republican
bleeding-heart liberal
televangelist
a fascist dictator
the grade school bully
a militant vegan
Carrot Top
the prom queen

2. When you're dead, people will remember you most for being...
a natural born leader
smart 
good looking
athletic
who, again?!?
artistically talented
a great diplomat
a good friend

3. You wear mostly: 
plaid
dark colors
pastels
bright colors 
high-contrasting colors, like black and yellow.
earth tones
white, beige, neutral tones
as little as possible!

4. What is your (primary) vice? 
chocolate
sloth
booze
Cheerleading
computer programming
nymphomania
listening to the Steve Miller Band
smoking (cigarettes, crack, whatever.)


5. favorite animal?  
bird
cute little puppy
cat
fluffy little kitten
big mutt
hedgehog
rabbit
purebred dog of some sort.

6. Your dream vehicle:
Porsche
something nice, and reliable.
Hovercraft
burly SUV
fire engine
anything I can afford
Batmobile
chauffeured limousine

7. Your significant other leaves you for your brother:
Dumb bitch!
I knew he was "that way" all along!
I'll do his/her best friend  just to get even
I'm calling my local hit man right now
Maybe I deserved it.
It's OK, I didn't like him/her anyway. 
Ha ha ha! That's a good one!
leave me alone.

8. My hovercraft is full of: 
stop it! I gave that up long ago!
eels
wombats
illegal substances
anti-depressants
sex toys
cheesecake
huh?